


your smile and the sound of your voice, and the way you see through me

by glitterlarries



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reality Show, Basically they're all pro dancers on Strictly, Fluff, Friends With Benefits, M/M, More - Freeform, Professional dancers, Rivals to Lovers, Strictly Come Dancing, hate to love-ish
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-14
Updated: 2017-03-24
Packaged: 2018-09-17 10:54:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9320468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glitterlarries/pseuds/glitterlarries
Summary: This isn’t the first time Louis Tomlinson has woken up spooning his arch rival, and truthfully the only alarming thing about it is that it isn’t alarming at all.Louis and Harry are both professional dancers on BBC's 'Strictly Come Dancing'. They hate each other except they don't. This series of the show will be the one that changes everything.





	1. Chapter 1

It’s testament to the bad luck that’s been plaguing Louis Tomlinson for the last year or so that the first person he sees when he gets to the _Strictly_ dance studio is Harry Styles. Louis tries not to roll his eyes as Harry mutters a hello as they walk through the doors together and avoid each other’s eyes, pretending like they hadn’t spent most of the night before in bed together. Nobody else needs to know that.

 

Louis quickly finds Perrie, his professional dance partner, standing around at the back of the room catching up with Niall. These two are probably Louis’ favourite people on the whole show, and they’re up there with his favourite people in the world generally. When she sees him, Perrie straight away pulls Louis in for a tight hug and Louis squeezes her back. He loves Perrie a lot, and is endlessly grateful to get to spend most of his time dancing with one of his very best friends. Louis frowns when he realizes that she’s holding onto him tighter than usual and that her shoulders are shaking slightly.

 

“Pez, babe, what’s up?”

 

“He’s here.” Perrie tells him darkly, throwing an angry look in the direction of Harry Styles and the man Harry’s currently talking to. Zayn. Perrie’s ex. Oh dear. “Like, I knew he’d be here but like… now he’s really here ya know? I’m just… don’t get together with other pros Louis, that’s all I can say. It just makes work less good.”

 

“Oh trust me I wouldn’t!” Louis says, and it’s true. Sleeping with someone is not the same as getting together with them. He and Harry don’t even like each other, they just use each other because they’re there and objectively speaking find each other attractive. That’s all it’s ever been and all it will ever be. “Now, what’s the plan of action? Do we avoid him? Snub him? Do you need me to be mean to him?”

 

“No, let’s just pretend everything’s fine. Like, I don’t really want him to join our Sunday night dinners but I’m not going to be weird with him. Can’t let him know him being here bothers me.”

 

“I’ll keep you distracted, babe. And who knows, maybe you’ll get a really fit celeb to fraternize with!” Louis says, only half jokingly.

 

“I’m in this mess because of fraternizing, that is absolutely not going to happen!” Perrie replies, shaking her head emphatically.

 

“Well, you never know. Sometimes fraternizing can be um… mutually beneficial and stuff!” Louis winks.

 

“Is this your way of trying to be subtle about the fact that you and Harry have been ‘fraternizing’ for the last year or so?” Perrie asks, sounding annoyingly bored and nonchalant. Louis’ not fooled, though, he can see that evil little glint in her eye.

 

“How did you- I mean, what are you talking about?” Louis stutters, hoping maybe denial is the best route to go down.

 

“It’s fucking obvious, Louis. Anyway, I-”

 

Perrie doesn’t get a chance to finish her sentence because at that exact moment the coaches arrive and the session begins. Perrie gives Louis annoyingly knowing looks every time they whirl past Harry and his partner Jade, and Louis thinks it’s testament to how good he is a person that he doesn’t do the same back to her whenever they’re close to Zayn and his partner whose name Louis doesn’t know yet. The problem is, is that Perrie’s knowing looks are kind of for a reason. The problem is, is that when they turn their heads and Harry’s close by Louis can’t exactly help looking at him. If he wasn’t looking at Harry, he’d be fucking up the dance. Sure, he doesn’t have to look at Harry in quite the way he knows he probably is, but like that’s not his fault either. It’s not his fault Harry’s wearing those leggings or that his hair looks so… so amazing pushed back with that bandana and, and Louis is suddenly reminded of that bit in Mean Girls when Regina’s all like “Tell him his hair looks sexy pushed back!” and Louis… Louis really needs to stop looking at Harry and start concentrating on mastering this routine. If he has to put up with Harry Styles he has to at least be better than him.

 

-

 

The lunch break has just started and Louis’ outside with a few of the others smoking the cigarettes they’re all telling themselves and each other will be their lasts. Louis is standing in the corner giving Zayn a subtly mean look as he smokes and talks to Harry. Of course Harry’s befriended the enemy already. Harry doesn’t even smoke! Harry just likes to go outside for the fresh air, apparently. How the fuck the air can be fresh when it’s made up almost entirely of menthol smoke, Louis has no fucking clue. It’s not like he’s going to ask Harry; it’s not like he’s going to engage him in conversation or anything.

 

Louis finishes his cigarette and makes his way back inside. He chooses the pumpkin soup and a seeded bread roll for his lunch, then goes to join Niall, Perrie, and Natalie at one of the benches near the back of the canteen.

 

“What’s the latest gossip then friends?” Louis asks, sitting down and stealing a crisp from Niall’s pack of sweet chilli sunbites.

 

“The usual,” Natalie says, sounding bored, “same people sleeping with the same people, same attempts at bribery because no one wants the oldies, more about who should retire next, oh and obviously the sweepstake for-” she cuts herself off quickly when she sees both Niall and Perrie making shushing gestures.

 

“For what?”

 

“Er- nothing. For um, which pros will get married next I suppose!” she says grinning slightly sheepishly. Louis would push for more details, but then is distracted when he hears a fucking loud fucking annoying laugh from across the room. Fucking Harry Styles.

 

-

 

After rehearsals finish, Louis gets the bus back home. He unlocks his front door and flops down on his tiny sofa in his tiny flat even though he should probably get into his tiny shower cubicle because he does not smell good. Louis is sweaty and tired and feels almost itchy and uneasy and distracted, and he both knows and doesn’t really understand why he feels like this. The worst part is that he knows exactly what he needs to make it go away. And he hates what he knows that is. Louis groans to himself, puts his head in his hands and eventually pulls himself up off the sofa and into the shower.

 

The warm water both energises and relaxes him at the same time, and Louis feels calm as he massages shampoo on his head and inhales the nice lemony smell. It’s as he’s rinsing out his conditioner a few minutes later that Louis’ thoughts drift once more and he’s no longer feeling so calm.

 

When he gets out the shower, Louis does the one thing that he knows will both make things much better and much worse all at the same time. He texts Harry and invites him over.

 

Someone, almost certainly Harry, buzzes on the intercom system just as Louis’ washing up from his disappointing Tesco Healthy Living meal for one. There’s something Louis finds so incredibly tragic about ready meals for one, so he buries the box under a few magazines in his recycling box so Harry won’t see it. Not that Harry would be going through his recycling box as it is, that would be weird.

 

Louis goes to the intercom system to buzz Harry in before scurrying over to the mirror to make sure his hair’s looking as good as it did when he’d checked it ten minutes ago. Not that it matters how his hair looks… it’s just Harry. It’s not like Louis cares how he looks for Harry or anything, it’s just he always likes to look his best and…

 

And there’s a knock on the door and Louis spits his gum into the bin and then goes to let Harry in. Harry, as usual, looks unfairly wonderful. All long curls and dimples and skinny jeans that are somehow even more obscene than the leggings he was dancing in earlier today. Louis hates him.

 

“Hiya Lou,” Harry says softly once Louis’ opened and closed the door for and behind him. Harry turns to face him and takes his face in his large hands. Louis tries not to think about how startlingly intimate this is and how fast his heart’s beating.

 

“Hello,” Louis replies, unable to look at anything but Harry’s too big too lovely pink mouth.

 

“How are you-”

 

“Shh. Just kiss me, yeah?”

 

“Yeah.” Harry whispers, then their lips meet. And a part of Louis wishes it was an exaggeration to say that the moment he’s in Harry’s arms it’s like everything else has disappeared and he can breathe properly again. The other part of him is just so warm and glad and at peace, even if the thing causing that peace is Harry Styles.

 

Annoyingly, it seems only to be Harry that has this effect on him. The first few times they’d slept together, Louis had convinced himself it was just good sex in general that had calmed him and made him feel better about everything. But then he’d had quite a lot of good sex with quite a few other men and… and it hadn’t been the same. And Louis fucking hates that Harry has this kind of power over him without even knowing it.

 

They stumble into the bedroom and Louis finds himself face down on the bed as Harry traces his hands over his arse and presses kisses into the back of his neck.

 

“You looked so good at rehearsals today, Lou, I… your bum in those joggers and- fuck, you just… your fucking arse, Louis.” Harry mumbles, then squeezes. Louis tries not to let on how affected he is by all this but… but that’s not very easy.

 

“Hadn’t realised I’d ahh- clicked body worship when I went on the Harry Styles porn website today…” Louis tries to quip, failing sort of miserably because he truthfully fucking loves it too and Harry makes him weak.

 

“I can always stop?” Harry asks, stopping completely and looking at Louis with a raised eyebrow.

 

“No, go on.” Louis encourages, faking nonchalance

 

“If you insist…” Harry replies slowly, then suddenly he’s pulling down Louis’ trousers and boxers and he’s sucking a bruise onto Louis’ left bum cheek and Louis has lost all the words in his mouth.

 

Twenty minutes later, Harry’s inside Louis and Louis’ scratching at Harry’s back partly because he wants to be able to see the marks tomorrow at rehearsals but mostly because he loves it and he knows Harry does too. Harry moves and suddenly they’re kissing again and Louis hates to admit it but for some reason everything’s heightened when they’re kissing too and he loves kissing Harry so much and… and it’s just a lot.

 

-

 

Louis wakes up before his alarm goes off. This doesn’t happen often, but he supposes he and Harry fell asleep quite early. Harry. Yeah, Harry’s still here. This isn’t the first time Louis’ woken up spooning his arch rival, and truthfully the only alarming thing about it is that it isn’t alarming at all. Louis lies still for a moment, just enjoying the warmth around him and how pretty Harry is. He then thinks it’s maybe a bit creepy to gaze at a sleeping person like he is, and that even though he can’t ever really gaze at an awake Harry he should probably stop.

 

After carefully disentangling his limbs from Harry’s in a bid to not wake him up, Louis crawls silently out of bed and into the kitchen to put the kettle on. He makes his usual morning cup of tea and makes Harry an instant coffee too. That’s reason enough to not like him, actually, Louis isn’t sure how anyone can choose coffee over tea as their first drink of the day and… and yet here he is making Harry a coffee anyway. He hopes Harry knows how lucky he is to have Louis around to er- to sleep with sometimes and have make him drinks.

 

Louis goes back into his bedroom and sets Harry’s mug down on the bedside table. He puts on some fresh underwear and tries to ignore the fact that he doesn’t need to get any out for Harry because last month he gave Harry a fucking drawer of his own because he stays over so often. Louis’ very good at wilfully ignoring things.

 

Louis wakes Harry up gently, stroking his shoulder and running a hand through his hair. He reasons that no one wants to be woken up meanly, it’s not like he’s heartless enough to shake him awake or something.

 

“Morning,” Harry mumbles, sitting up and giving Louis a sleepy smile. “What time’s’t?”

 

“Just gone seven, got plenty of time.” Louis says handing Harry his mug. They don’t need to be at the studio until half eight and it’s only a fifteen-minute bus journey from here.

 

“Good,” Harry says, giving Louis another smile and gratefully accepting the coffee. Louis smiles back and gets back into bed, sitting next to Harry on top of the covers as he drinks his tea and scrolls through twitter on his phone. Harry’s next to him doing the same and Louis can’t help but think about how nice this always feels.

 

Something strange happens when they’re about to leave the flat and head to the bus stop. Harry kisses Louis. The kiss isn’t the strange thing, kissing each other is not a new thing for them. The strange thing about the kiss is that it’s taking place in the morning in a completely non sexual context as they’re about to go to work together. The strange thing about the kiss is that it gives Louis butterflies in the sweetest, most innocent way. Kisses that aren’t linked to sex are just… they’re just different, and it’s strange kissing Harry when it’s not sexually charged. And it’s scary because Louis likes it so much.

 

Neither acknowledge that this isn’t something they’ve ever done before. They just pull apart after a moment and Harry follows Louis outside. They don’t speak much on the bus, but Louis is all too aware of how close Harry is, of how their thighs are touching as they sit and they really don’t need to be.

 

In silence, they walk into the studio together and then go their separate ways. This is normal for them, but today Louis feels sort of weird about it. It just… it’s starting to feel strange to him, having a certain thing with Harry most nights and then ignoring him or slightly resenting him by day. He doesn’t like, fancy Harry, except in the sense that he thinks he’s really fit and they’re really sexually compatible. He doesn’t even like Harry! This is silly! Louis really needs to take a break from him or something, try to organise his thoughts and get back to the whole compartmentalisation thing he’d been so good at last year.

 

Luckily, he has Liam to prank, Niall to tease, and Perrie to dance and laugh with, so Louis is able to spend most of the day at rehearsals not thinking about or even looking at Harry. Perrie had given him quite a look when Harry had taken off his hoodie to reveal the loose tank top showing off quite a few of the marks Louis remembers making on his back the night before, but other than that it does remain quite a Harry-free day. Louis’ decided it will be a Harry free night too, he needs to start detoxing or something before things start to feel too real.

 

-

 

It’s nine PM and Louis is drunk. Well, not drunk. Just drunk-ish. Two white wine spritzers do that to a person when that person is fairly small and tries not to drink much at all when in training. Perrie is thankfully also a small lightweight, and they’re sitting on her sofa drinking together so Louis doesn’t feel too ashamed of his low alcohol tolerance.

 

“I just don’t get why we never see you two talk… like, you must talk?” she’s been questioning Louis about Harry for the last half hour and Louis’ rapidly running out of vague non-answers.

 

“That’s because we don’t talk. We literally just have sex.” Louis replies, shrugging and taking a spring roll from the plate in front of them. They’re having a cheat night tonight, so of course they’re partying like celebs with Iceland party food.

 

“But like… what about in the beginning surely you had to talk in order to get to the sleeping together part?”

 

“Not really. It just kind of happened, y’know? We were drunk and at the wrap slash Christmas party before the first time and ever since then it’s been like, mostly unspoken.”

 

“Friends with benefits?”

 

“I’m not sure we’re friends, though. Maybe colleagues with benefits?”

 

“Romantic!”

 

“It’s just sex!”

 

“Yeah, sex with the person you’ve been determined to beat since you were what- nine years old?”

 

“Well, yeah. Still just sex, though.”

 

“But aren’t you like… interested in getting to know him as person? Like obviously I am most loyal to you and only you, but like, Harry’s nice! He is! And he’s funny and stuff, I think if you actually talked you’d get on really well and…”

 

“And what?” Louis asks, even though he knows what’s coming. Perrie’s going to try and play match-maker, and it’s probably going to be as excruciating as the time she decided Louis should go out with Niall. How she hadn’t picked up on the straight vibes radiating off Niall, Louis has no idea.

 

“Well I just think that imagine if you were like, compatible in more ways than just physically?” Perrie begins, looking Louis with big, expectant eyes.

 

“So?” Louis asks, raising an eyebrow.

 

“So I think you are!” she exclaims triumphantly, downing the last of her wine.

 

“So?” he asks again, honestly now just to be a pain.

 

“So maybe you should like, test it out?”

 

“What happened to the Perrie Edwards of Monday morning who told me that fraternizing with other pros is always a bad idea?” Louis asks, passing her the plate of prawn toasts.

 

“There’s an exception to every rule!”

 

“Yeah? Well I’m not it! Anyway, we haven’t had a chance to discuss the root cause of your issue with fraternization lately and-”

 

“Oooh no, we are not going there!” Perrie says, and then she shoves a spring roll in Louis’ mouth so he can’t talk for a moment or two. How rude.

 

“Why?” he says with his mouthful to get her back or attempting to silence him with cheap frozen Chinese food.

 

“Because… just because, okay?”

 

“Okay,” Louis says eventually, “Can I have a sweet and sour chicken ball please?”

 

“I’m not sure you’ve earned a sweet and sour chicken ball, to be honest with you Louis.” Perrie says, putting on the stern voice she only uses sometimes in practice when Louis’ being more of a shit than usual.

 

“I think I have earned a sweet and sour chicken ball.”

 

“What makes you think you’ve earned a sweet and sour chicken ball?”

 

“Well first of all there’s the fact that we’ve both now said ‘sweet and sour chicken ball’ enough times to have probably burnt at least a calorie, and then there’s the fact that I am fantastic and you love me, and after that there’s the fact that we do a looooot of risky lifts in our line of work, Pezza babe.”

 

“Are you threatening to drop me when doing a lift if I don’t give you a sweet and sour chicken ball?”

 

“Did I say that?” Louis teases, waving his fork dangerously close to Perrie’s hair. Sometimes to wind her up he combs it with a dirty fork and that’s… that’s honestly disgusting and Louis isn’t sure why she still puts up with him.

 

“Stop it!” Perrie screeches when she sees what he’s half planning on doing. She shifts slightly away from him, stabs a sweet and sour chicken ball with her fork and then thrusts it violently in the direction of Louis’ mouth.

 

“Thanks darling, how romantic of you to feed me like this!” Louis says through his mouthful as he chews semi obnoxiously. Perrie then pushes him off the sofa.

 

Ten minutes later, the food’s all gone and Louis’ head is in Perrie’s lap as they watch _The Great British Bake Off_ together.

 

-

 

Louis ends up staying over at Perrie’s that night, both of them falling asleep on the sofa somewhere during their _Location, Location, Location_ marathon. He wakes up with a slightly stiff neck, but other than that everything’s fine. Louis makes himself and Perrie a cup of tea and then goes home.

 

It’s strange having days off during the early part of the _Strictly_ season, as in just a few short weeks any time not spent with the other pros will be taken up with his celeb partner. Louis isn’t entirely sure what to do with himself, and he kind of regrets not just hanging around and bothering Perrie for longer. Usually he can rely on Liam to not be busy and to be up for hanging out with him, but when there’s an uncharacteristic lack of reply to Louis’ text within over an hour of sending it, Louis half gives up and flops down on the sofa again. There’s nothing he particularly wants to watch on TV and it isn’t a particularly nice day and… and the truth is that right now Louis is just really lonely.

 

His family feel further away than they actually are. His friends are all busy doing other things. Louis thinks he should maybe pick up a hobby or something, find something that he can do on his days off. He just hates feeling like such a pathetic wanker on days like this. It’s great to love his job as much as he does, but sometimes he kind of wishes there was something in his non-work life for him to properly love too. Maybe it’s time he got a cat. A puppy, possibly. A puppy would be more work but with dogs there’s that guarantee you don’t get with cats that they’ll love you a lot. Louis looks over to the houseplants and cacti in the corner of the room. They’re dead. Somehow he’s killed the cacti as well. He can’t get a pet.

 

Louis puts on _Homes Under the Hammer_ and wallows in self pity.


	2. Chapter 2

In Louis’ dream they are dancing together. They’re dancing the way they usually dance with their professional partners, but at the same time it’s nothing like that. And that isn’t because they’re both men, either. There’s just something… something so different about it. Something so unlike any dance Louis has ever danced.

When the dancing stops, it’s replaced by something Louis can describe only as light. Soft light. Soft, warm light. And he’s there with him too. And it’s perfect and soft and there’s something so pure and right about it, and Louis aches with the knowledge that this is all that he’s ever wanted. This person and this… he realises they’re on a beach, the kind with sand so fine he thinks for a moment it’s caster sugar. But it’s sand on a beach and they’re the only ones on the beach and Harry leads him over to a bed that’s placed inexplicably in the middle of it. And they aren’t wearing any clothes, Louis hadn’t noticed that before. They are naked and the light is so bright and yet so soft and everything is warm but not too warm. And Louis crawls along the bed and moves to kiss Harry’s jaw and…

And Louis wakes up. 

For a moment, he wonders if maybe the dream was real. Because there’s Harry, sleeping softly beside him. Their legs are tangled together and Louis knows without looking that neither are wearing anything at all. After taking a moment to take everything in, Louis realises what’s actually happening. What’s actually happening is that he just had a dream about his arch rival Harry Styles. And to make matters worse it wasn’t just a sex dream. It was kind of a… it was kind of a romance dream. And that’s something to be worried about. 

As Louis’ in the kitchen making his tea and Harry’s coffee he tries not to have the meltdown that a part of his brain seems to want him to have. It’s just… it’s just that it’s one thing to be sleeping with Harry, and another thing entirely to actually have feelings for Harry. Up until now he’s almost been able to write their sex off as a combination of stress relief, built up tension, and hate-related. In the light of dreaming soft things, though, things that hinted at something profound and outside the parameters of ‘fuck buddies’ or anything of the sort, Louis doesn’t really know how to feel. He doesn’t want to have feelings for Harry fucking Styles of all people.

On the very short walk from kitchen to bedroom with the hot drinks, Louis manages to placate his dream-ruined mind a little. People’s brains just often confuse sexual feelings for romantic feelings, that’s all. There’s probably a somewhat animalistic part of him that associates sex with romance and long-term partnership because that’s the way a lot of humans are biologically programmed. It doesn’t mean he really thinks or feels these kinds of things. It can’t.

Louis wakes Harry up gently and hands him his coffee. For a moment Louis feels this strange urge to his his gorgeous morning grin, but manages to contain it. Probably just leftover feelings from The Dream. It will pass before the hour’s up, Louis’ sure of it. 

They get the bus to rehearsal together again, and Louis tries not to notice the way he can’t seem to resist resting his head on Harry’s shoulder for most of the journey. They don’t speak but it’s somehow more special that way. Harry starts doing a word search on his phone, and Louis can’t help but steal it from him a couple of times to highlight the words he’s spotted too. Harry doesn’t seem to mind.  
They go their separate ways once they get to the studio, and Louis finds himself effortlessly going about his everyday pre-rehearsal routines. There’s this really small part of him that kind of wishes Harry was still by his side, though, and Louis tries to ignore it. Ignoring the things he usually manages to ignore quite successfully isn’t going so well today. 

-

Louis finds himself having his first conversation with Zayn Malik in the short queue for the vending machines during the first break of the day. Louis’ plan had been to be as cold as possible without coming across as rude. Zayn had, after all, broken Louis’ best friend’s heart into many pieces, and Louis does not like people who hurt those he loves.  
The problem is… is that the machine does not like Louis’ only pound coin, and Louis really really wants that can of Red Bull. And Zayn just offered him a shiny pound coin with a smile, a “Hi, I’m Zayn. We haven’t properly met yet, I don’t think,” and an “I admire you so much as a dancer!”. 

Louis is immediately thrown into a moral quandary. Here, his loyalty is being tested. It’s being tested against his need for a much needed mid-morning energy boost in a can. And it’s silly to be as stressed about this as he is, Perrie doesn’t need to know. And she won’t care either, in fact she’ll be glad to have a genuinely perky Louis to deal with for the rest of the day! But still… Louis does not like people who make his friends cry. On balance, though, he decides he’ll accept the pound swap, but he won’t be very warm.

“Thank you Zayn, very kind of you.” Louis says quietly, offering Zayn a smile that he knows doesn’t look very genuine, and then he strolls back to Perrie and Niall as they play the most entertainingly lacklustre ‘I went to the supermarket and I bought…’ game Louis’ witnessed in a long time. He doesn’t even pretend to be annoyed or surprised at himself when his gaze wonders over to where Harry’s standing around with Liam and Zayn as the three of them dote over the three-year-old daughter of someone from the hair and make up team. Louis tries to ignore the funny feeling in his stomach when he sees Harry lift the little girl up and dangle her upside down as she squeals delightedly. A part of Louis desperately wants to go over and join in, but he fights it because he doesn’t want to get in over his head, can’t be that close to those dimples and that laugh at this moment in time. 

He’s got this under control, definitely. 

-

Louis feels less in control when all the celebrities arrive. He can’t help but notice the way at least half of the room is completely captivated by Harry. And if Louis were more rational right now, he’d probably realise that the other half of the room is completely captivated by himself and the way he’s moving and the jokes he’s making without even thinking about it. Louis knows he’s charming, but he also knows that Harry’s charming, and that everyone seems to be aware of this. If Louis was being more rational right now, maybe he’d realise that, just like Louis himself, Harry’s really only paying attention to one person in the studio.

Louis isn’t feeling all that rational, though. And he convinces himself he’s just jealous of all the attention Harry’s getting rather than jealous of the attention he wishes he was currently getting from Harry. Whatever. 

As the celebrities practice their steps, Louis and all the other pros look around with interest to see who’s good, who has potential, and who to hope they aren’t partnered with. The celebrities seem half focused on the steps but are also eyeing the pros with interest, probably wondering who they’ll be partnered with and what it will be like. There are a lot of admiring eyes on Zayn in particular this time, probably because he’s new but probably also because he is undeniably godlike. Louis wonders if Liam minds no longer being arguably the fittest male pro on the show, but when he sees the way Liam’s also staring at Zayn, Louis supposes it doesn’t bother him much. 

Louis’ somewhat lost in thought and he doesn’t notice for a moment that Harry’s now standing next to him.

“Who d’you hope to get then?” Harry asks Louis. Now, there’s nothing weird about this question but it is weird that Harry’s talking to him. They don’t usually talk at all, and especially not at work or in front of other people. 

“Not sure really. Like someone good, obviously. How about you?” Louis replies, and he knows this is a really boring answer but it’s true. No one in particular stands out right now, and he obviously doesn’t fancy any of his potential partners seeing as they’re all women, so ‘someone good’ is the most he wants right now. When he sees the way most of them struggle with the fairly basic step they’ve just learnt, Louis thinks maybe that in itself was quite a big ask.

“Yeah, same. Too early to tell really isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” Louis replies, and he knows he needs to think of something else to say if he wants to keep this conversation going and the thing is… the thing is that he does want to keep this conversation going. How he’s got to this point where he wants to make nice smalltalk with Harry Styles Louis has no idea, but it is what it is. “So um.. you hoping to start with Ballroom or Latin for your first dance with whoever it may be?”

“Well ballroom’s usually safer for a first time isn’t it? But I suppose again it depends on the partner.” Harry says after some consideration.

“Ballroom first hmm? So you’re not going to take your top off in Week 1 then?” Louis teases. 

“Nah, that’s definitely a mid series treat. Guessing you’re hoping for Latin first just to remind everyone you have a great bum?” Harry replies with a raised eyebrow and a smirk.

“Cheeky! Had no idea you’d noticed my bum.” Louis tries to sound shocked, knowing they both are very aware of just how well acquainted Harry is with Louis’ bum. 

Harry responds by giving it a quick squeeze and then walks away giggling to himself. Louis hates himself slightly for his blush and the way his heart is beating quite fast. Five minutes later Louis receives a text from Harry: 

_My place tonight. Plan on noticing your bum a bit more if that’s okay with you. H._

Louis replies quickly that this is acceptable and he’ll be there at 8. 

-

It’s Friday night, the last one that will feel somewhat guiltlessly free for a while now, so Louis’ going out. It’s just going to be a few drinks in town with Niall and Liam, pretty low key really. Perrie and the other pros he’s most friendly with had turned down the invite in favour of going to see a singalong Mamma Mia, and Louis’ kind of annoyed at his past self for never getting round to buying tickets when they told him to. Organisation. That’s something that will go down on his list of self improvement goals for New Years. The next few months from now until Christmas are always far too chaotic to implement any big changes. He’s probably just making excuses for himself but it’s okay because no one else needs to know. 

Feeling oddly sad as he gets himself ready to go out, Louis Skypes home for a bit. Instantly, he is filled with that feeling of warmth, comfort, and longing. Other than when talking to his family or during flying visits home, Louis doesn’t feel this way often. He realises with jolt just as he’s saying goodbye that the only other times he has felt like this… have been times when Harry’s been in his bed, just sleeping softly. 

He’s said it before and he’ll say it again: things are getting very out of hand. 

Maybe tonight is time for someone new, a palette cleanser, so to speak. Maybe the fact that it’s been exclusively Harry for a while now is the problem, it’s clouded his vision perhaps. He just needs to remind his body that Harry Styles isn’t the only attractive man he’s had and that there are plenty more out there. Hopefully then his feelings will catch up and stop fixating too. 

Louis puts ABBA Gold on and fixes his hair into the perfectly dishevelled look he’s been planning on, then shimmies into his jeggings while singing Knowing Me Knowing You. He giggles at every ‘aha’ because of Alan Partridge, and a part of him just wants to stay in watching that now instead. He’s not sure why he isn’t suitably excited about the prospect of going out, but hopefully after a cosmo or two he’ll be back to resuming his role of the life and soul of the party. 

-

Sure enough, Louis’ drunk within the first hour of being at the pub. He blames Niall. And tequila. Niall and tequila, though maybe those two concepts are one and the same. People can’t really be concepts really, can they? Or maybe the idea of being a person is a concept in itself. Louis floats this thought to the others, Niall looks thoughtful and Liam looks confused. 

“I suppose you could say that everything that is… is kind of just a concept of sorts though? Or maybe that everything has a concept attached to it? But concept is not all they are… a chair isn’t only the concept of a chair, but lots of other things depending on perspective, creativity, historical context, sentimental value etcetera.” Niall ponders, then he takes a large sip of his drink, burps, giggles, then pops off to the loo. Louis is left with a perplexed looking Liam.

“Do you think feelings are just concepts?” Liam asks Louis.

“I don’t know. I mean, your feelings are your feelings aren’t they? Like you feel what you feel whether you want or not.” Louis replies, feeling a slight sting with the truth of his words and how he keeps forcing himself to give interested looks at the guy on the table across the room. He’s attractive, but Louis just… isn’t feeling it, no matter how hard he tries. 

“Yeah but like, they’re real aren’t they?”

“I think so, yeah. As real as anything can be, at least they are in the moment and context of the feeling itself.” Louis says, wondering why it is that every other time they get drunk they somehow end up talking shit like this as though they actually know what they’re talking about.

“So you think if I feel like I have feelings for someone, I probably actually do?” Liam asks anxiously, fiddling with a beer mat.

“Yeah, think so. Is this about Zayn?”

“Mmmm.”

“What’s happening there?”

“What’s happening with you and Harry?”

“Don’t answer my question with a question.”

“Don’t ask people questions you aren’t prepared to answer yourself.”

“But I am prepared to answer a question about me and Zayn, and that’s what I asked you!” Louis says, triumphantly evasive. Liam just looks oddly stricken and Louis realises his mistake. “And by that I mean that nothing’s going on there! I have a slight bias against him because he hurt Perrie, but he did recently swap me a pound so I could get a red bull. I think he’s alright at best and that’s about it at the moment, Liam.”

“Oh… okay.”

“Going to tell me your feelings about Zayn now?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“Because he, Harry, and a bunch of the others just came in the door. Niall did say he’d asked them to come along after Mamma Mia.” Liam replies casually, and Louis can’t stop himself from instantly swivelling around and craning his neck to see if Harry really is there.

And yes. There they all are, strolling cheerfully up to the bar after throwing a wave in their direction. Louis hadn’t known Harry was a part of the Mamma Mia expedition, and he’s not an unwelcome surprise.

-

An hour or so later and Louis is really drunk. Louis is needy at the best of times, but drunk Louis in particular has to always have someone’s attention. That someone’s attention, right now, is Harry’s. And Louis loves it. Harry is pink cheeked and giggling as he helps Louis build a tower of empty plastic shot glasses. When Louis accidentally knocks the whole thing over Harry lets out another of his ridiculous laughs and Louis finds himself edging closer still to him. 

The man Louis had been exchanging looks with prior to Harry’s arrival is now long gone, not that Louis’ looked over to notice once. Louis may have Harry’s full attention, but Harry has just as much of Louis’ too. Right now Louis thinks that’s okay.

Liam is even more drunk than Louis is. Louis realises this once Harry’s had the audacity to go up to the bar with Zayn to buy them more drinks, leaving him for a few minutes. Liam’s staring into the depths of his pint and muttering about how the colour is similar to the colour of Zayn’s eyes. It isn’t, but Louis supposes that doesn’t really matter right now. 

“Does he know you like him?” Louis asks.

“I don’t think he does.”

“D’you want him to know?”

“Not sure.”

“Well if you’re going to continue being obvious, you should probably be sure.”

“Am I really that bad?”

“Eh, kind of? I’m halfway to public sex with Harry right now so I can’t really talk.” Drunk Louis can be very self aware at times. 

-

Harry goes home with Louis again. Instead of jumping straight into bed, though, they for some reason decide it’s a great idea to open a bottle of Prosecco and listen to ABBA Gold in its entirety, both singing along and dancing around with each other. They dance gleefully to Mamma Mia, Waterloo, and Dancing Queen. And then it’s The Winner Takes it All, and suddenly there Louis is in Harry’s arms hoping he’ll be strong there. 

The song ends and suddenly there they are standing and facing each other. Louis looks up and into Harry’s eyes and there’s an intensity there he isn’t sure he’s ever picked up on before. From Harry’s sharp intake of breath, Louis thinks maybe Harry’s seeing a similar intensity mirrored back in Louis’ eyes. At risk of saying something he might regret, Louis puts his lips to Harry’s and kisses him deeply. 

They’ve never kissed quite like this before. They’re without the usual urgency, but there’s definitely need there. So much need. Louis’ heart is beating so fast but at the same time he feels really calm. And even though he’s drunk, he knows the alcohol is not to blame for the way he’s feeling as Harry pulls him closer and settles his hand in the small of his back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took far longer to update than I expected to, I'm sorry! Life has been busier than expected and will probably continue to be as I have essay deadlines and exams coming up!
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone who read and reviewed the first chapter!  
> Please let me know what you thought of this one.
> 
> I'm illouminating on tumblr if you want to chat.


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